15 stupid questions you’ll be asked at a job interview

[sonicboom]

15 stupid questions you’ll be asked at a job interview



Yesterday, I went for an interview at a software company, as I had applied for the position of a full-time writer.

I was quite happy. I was supposed to reach the place at 3pm and I arrived at 2.45pm.

The interview started and went on for about twenty minutes. This was not my first interview. I have been interviewed at several places.

As the panel continues to ask me moronic question after moronic question, an idea for a blog post began to form in my mind. I tried to make a list of the fifteen most stupid questions that interviewers ask you. The list could go up to thirty questions, but ET might not take such a lengthy blog, so I am sticking to fifteen.

I am sure I can expect many emails and angry responses from HR recruitment people after this post.

Q1: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Do you know where your company will be in five years? Sorry, I didn’t know that you were looking to hire an astrologer.

Q2. Describe yourself in three words.

Why do you want a three-word description? If I say I am bold, smart and beautiful, will you be happy with that? Which three words do you want to hear–hard working, motivated and intelligent? You’ve gone through my resume, but still insist on asking me to describe myself. Just read the document carefully and you might find your answer there.

Q3. Are you ready to work overtime?

If you advertised your timings to be 9-5, don’t suddenly change your mind. If I say yes, it wouldn’t make any sense, and if I say no, I will be considered lazy. Are you ready to pay me for overtime?

Q4. What is your biggest weakness/worst quality?

Oh my God! Shall I really tell you my biggest weakness? Ice cream is my biggest weakness. Mobilink asked my brother the same question, after assuring him they wouldn’t share the information with anybody else. Are you guys making a database of candidates’ weaknesses? What if something I consider a strength looks like a weakness to someone else? If I say I’m a workaholic, it’s strength to me, but a weakness to others. Do people really discuss their weaknesses in public?

Q5. Can you manage to work in teams and groups?

My resume states very clearly that my skills include leadership ability, conflict resolution and team management skills. Didn’t you read it? Secondly, what if I am asked to work with a group of lazy dudes who don’t even bother to work much? It depends on the team. Anyway, were politicians ever asked about their leadership skills?

Q6. What are your salary expectations?

I applied for this job after reading about the salary you advertised. Are you trying to avoid paying that amount by asking me that? Anyway, my salary expectation is Rs200,000. Thank you so much for caring about me.

Q7. Do you mind if I call your previous employers?

Either I voluntarily left my job, or I got fired. Neither situation could have made my employers happy. Which ex-boss is going to speak highly of me?

Q8. What did you do in your last job?

I was hired as a plumber by the previous company after I finished my MBA.

Q9. Why shall we hire you?

So that I can steal your office equipment and break the office furniture.

Q10. Are you married, divorced, separated, or single?

This question annoys most female candidates. I’ve heard friends complaining about it too. Why are you interested in knowing my marital status? I am not a contestant for Miss World, for which I’d need to be single.

Q11. Who are you living with these days?

In Pakistan, where girls live with their families, this question doesn’t make any sense. I am living with my pets.

Q12. What do your co-workers say about you?

Some people suggested that I should dye my hair. Others said that I should use a glossy lipstick with thick eye liner.

Q13. What are your expectations from this job?

That I shouldn’t have to come to work on time. I also expect diet drinks and low calorie food for lunch. Also, I want an AC in my own room.

Q14. Why do you want to work for us?

I want it because I have to buy new clothes and cell phone.

Q15. Why are you leaving your current job?

Because I love giving job interviews.


15 stupid questions you

[Noman Sarwar]

Really interesting article,
thanks for sharing you experience

[Lady Macbeth]

So I guess people at the 'social services office/dole ppl' are on first name basis with you????

Actually this kind of reminds me of the worst interview I ever sat for .....it was an over the phone interview and the guy questioning me had the weirdest accent ever, top that up with an extremely inaudible tone of voice.

I had to constantly go "pardon me.......could you repeat the last question......sorry I didnt hear the last bit....." until I faked a coughing fit!!! Just couldnt take it anymore. And I got the job.....lol.

[Lady Macbeth]

Things to Say at a Job Interview

See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.

Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; 'Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.'

Constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt: 'The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?'

After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with, 'Of course I was totally hammered at the time.'

Inquire on office policy of friends staying over.

Claim you wouldn't even need a sit-in job if Al Einstein hadn't stolen your secret patent for '2000 Flushes'.

Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.

Ask if it's O.K. that you sit on the floor.

Allow that you would little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job.

Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you're not leaving.

Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn't feel like making anything else up.

Ask the secretary if she'll sit on your lap during the interview.

Walk into interviewer's office with a tape measure, measure office from a few angles, put away, declare; 'NOW we can begin.'

When making small talk and the Simpson trial comes up, shout: You mean Homer and Marge are in some kind of trouble?'

Sniff two of your fingers hold out toward interviewer, ask; 'smell these, these smell funny to you???'

Upon walking in to the office for first time, ask receptionist to hold all your calls.